It would be easy for me to just keep doing what I’m doing–work, eat, clean the house, play with the little one, find time for exercise, meditation, and sleep. It keeps me busy enough for sure. But…something insists, gently, for me to do more. That insistent spirit of mine that I nurture and feed rewards me with moments of fulfillment, then… more yearning and beckoning.
It keeps me from being completely satisfied, loafing around on the couch for example. On top of daily needs like a walk on the beach, a swim in the ocean or arranging flowers in a vase, my spirit also has an ongoing, life-long mission and purpose. It’s this energy, this passion, this gentle insistence that keeps me at the edge and not on the couch for too long.
But what is it that it wants?
I wish it would just come out and say it in plain language (and preferably include instructions on how to go about getting it too). But alas, apparently that’s not the way it works. It’s not like a well-defined goal of running a marathon or something like that.
For the more complicated, involved spiritual desire of living my life’s purpose, of contributing to the greater whole of humanity, I do not need to see or understand the greater picture. I just need to trust and have faith in higher powers.
I am not the composer here, just one person, one instrument. And my spirit, as everyone else’s, is the entity through which higher powers are at work. My duty is simply to listen and to obey, everyday.
My mission and purpose is not necessarily one grand gesture, like starting a foundation to feed millions of homeless. My part for the moment may be just a smile of compassion to one homeless person as I pass by.
For today, right now, my spirit urges me to put my striving, sometimes struggling attempt to obey, into words and into the blogosphere for sharing with others. It’s not too clear to me that this rambling is of use to anyone except maybe just to let one other person know they are not alone. That one other person might go on to help someone else and so on and so forth. And in that unrecognizable way, this blog, and the small kind, loving, actions of anyone and everyone might be something grand altogether.
So here it is the beginning of a blog as an answer to the gentle insistence of my spirit and my decent effort to obey. I hope to be a conduit of the divine and for the blog to be of use in ways that I do not need to know or understand.