It’s been about three months since I started this blog, inspired by a need to follow the whisperings of a call. Like a puzzle in progress, I started with a piece in a corner and day by day I add another part or take it away and move things around striving for a cohesive picture that will reveal itself (I hope) with enough attention and care.
Either I am a grand puzzle master or just cuckoo. In hopes of the former, I step back today, to take stock of what I have so far. And in the spirit of blogging, I document that process here for sharing and for camaraderie to enforce that I am that grand puzzle master—someone who makes and solves puzzles at the same time rather than some crazy person! I’m crossing my fingers on that one.
Upon committing to blog, I delightfully find a whole community of WordPress bloggers connecting with each other in an art that seemed lost. Here in the blogosphere I can peer into the innermost thoughts of others and glimpse at what it is people care about most. Personally, I like it better than Facebook where I tend to view the results, the images of people having a good time, busy doing this and that, and smiling the whole way. Somewhere in there I miss the conversation and laughing at ourselves for how we aren’t perfect. Life isn’t picture-perfect; it’s journey-perfect and sharing that journey is what interests me most.
Here in the blogosphere, I have met Suzan of Life with Instructions who knows we have control over our lives and that together we can learn the how of it (even if we might stumble a bit along the way).
And just the other day I met the synthesist of Synthesist Chronicles, who like me, is fascinated with connecting the dots between seemingly unrelated fields of study in order to explore new territory. Pondering the questions of the hearts of people, spurred on by a slight dissatisfaction with current affairs, suits me very much.
As for my own blog and journey, I set out to journal about the subjects I find most fascinating, hoping to discover something new, preferably profound—the Holy Grail or the answers to the questions of life or simply to find love and laughter.
Who are we? Why are we here? I need the answers to be more than the mundane chores of life. As I do laundry or scrub the bathtub I need the answer to be more than the things we have to do. As I sit at my desk-job every day, I need the answer to be more than a decent way to earn a living. I need the answer to be that we are not here for comfortable complacency; we are here to delve into that slightly uncomfortable place of creativity. As I struggle to choose peace over being right, I need the answer to be that we are here to learn how to choose.
So far, amid the chores and heart-break of life, I think I have found the Holy Grail the primary answer to the questions of life. It turns out to be a matter of the heart and something we all need–love and laughter. Fortunately we don’t have to search high and low for love and laughter. These are choices we make with our very own hearts. The choices to love and to laugh are the only ones I’ve found to be worthwhile.
That’s easy enough to say. But when I look back (and even going forward), I’ve lost my way many a time, comparing my achievements with those of others or hating people for not being the way I expect them to be. In the last five years, I’ve dealt with a broken marriage engagement and the loss of my dearest mother. Both events called for some serious soul-searching…and ice-cream…and laughing through tears with the best girl-friends a girl can have (thank you, you know who you are).
In my searching, the subjects I studied and continue to study are: near-death experiences, metaphysics, the genius of creativity, the paranormal, quantum mechanics, religion. Yes, at the tender age of thirty I had something of an existential crisis. Traveling through that crisis I emerged calmer, less angry, and dare I venture to say wiser too. From my studies, I am convinced that science and religion converge and I am curious about how.
If we can live through life’s turmoil and still be able to hold-up the Holy Grail of love and laughter and say cheers to it all, we will have it—the twinkle in our eye that knows what life is about. That life is about the journey and learning how to choose. In all of our moments we choose between the dark side or the light. And if we are still smiling at the end of the day, and at the end of our lives, we know we have chosen mostly wisely.
These choices have direct physical impacts on our reality, affecting even the smallest of energy. As Einstein famously remarked, reality is merely an
illusion. And there is evidence to the idea that we play an important role in deciding what that illusion is. We choose whether we see the cup half-full or half-empty. Also, from the well-known double-slit experiment of quantum mechanics, how we choose to see an electron affects our real perception of it. It’s possible that our choice collapses the many simultaneous options available to us before decision into a definitive, measurable reality precisely at the moment of decision. And if that’s true, how we reconcile religion is how we reconcile our realities. If you are optimistic and choose to see the world through the lens of light and love, the electron’s, the matrix, reality itself, moves accordingly, and you see the glass half-full.
Of course I haven’t completed the puzzle yet and just as a reminder to revel in the journey, I’ll leave it at that—a work in progress for now. Cheers.