Hi there. So here’s a little something about me. I’m thirty something, typical, middle-class, educated, a full-time working professional trying to balance work with being a mother and a free spirit. I live in the paradise of Hawaii and most days I am content with my life; I have a good job, a beautiful family & home with daily sunsets, azure blue water framed in palm trees and rainbows nestled in the mountains.
But something gently (sometimes anxiously) insists I do more. Simply put, my day job is not what I get up for in the morning. I am absolutely relieved to wake up and understand that it is a Saturday, Sunday or holiday morning. This isn’t to say I am under the illusion that if I just didn’t have to work, I’d be happy. I want to work and be of service to others, which I already do, but…
Here’s the thing. I have this dream of getting paid to do work I actually love to do. The kind of love that stops time and the kind of love that never stops, say like at 5pm on the dot everyday. And so this blog is born of an attempt to obey the whispers of my spirit–that part of me that insists civil engineering is not ultimately what I came here to do this life. On the other hand, I can spend countless hours struggling to get words onto paper in a way that most nearly conveys a particular insight, revelation, or feeling. I tweak, delete whole paragraphs and pages, move sentences, look up the exact definitions of words, all spurred on by a need to strive for perfection in the power of the written word.
It’s not too clear to me this blogging is of use to anyone except maybe just to let one other person know they are not alone. That one other person might go on to help someone else and so on and so forth. And in that unrecognizable way, this blog, and the small kind, loving, actions of anyone and everyone might be something grand altogether.
So here it is a blog as an answer to the persistence of my spirit and my decent effort to obey. It is the thing I aspire to choose amid all the chores I have to do. I hope this writing is of use in ways I do not need to fully understand. Follow along with me as I connect the dots and make my dream a reality. It might help you do the same.